“Turns out perfection is the enemy of psychological safety. So, instead of stifling the experience, I integrated it into my teaching. Leading change means living change. “
Kate, the way you created space for yourself during your presentation struck a chord with me. As a Black person, I seldom feel completely safe, and have coped by code switching, hiding, and striving to be perfect. Over time, I see the toll my coping strategies have taken on me, but practicing being present and vulnerable is no picnic either! Thank you for blazing this path.
Thank you for your candor and compassion, Jean. There's so much wisdom here. Just acknowledging that the coping strategies aren't working is a revolutionary act of compassion — toward yourself and others. I appreciate the reality you present that being in both states — shut down or awake — carries costs. There's no quick fix or magic pill, and I have to remind myself of that when I'm "doing the work" yet haven't "perfectly" arrived at "healed." What do you find helps you to stay an ally to yourself as you practice being present and vulnerable?
Such a powerful lesson you've shared. 20 years ago, I stumbled and nearly fell on the way on stage to speak. Then I realized I didn't have my notes. The raw force of the empathy from the crowd is a feeling I will never forget. It changed my entire perception of what it means to show up... because you don't ever show up alone. And you never show up perfectly - that's lies. Allowing the community to support us and see that we are vulnerable is genuine magic.
Also this, 'Authoritarian forces didn’t invent the erosion of psychological safety. They simply exploited what late stage capitalism and collective trauma had already hollowed. People are in survival mode right now — a state of perpetual fight, flight, freeze, appease — and it’s hard to speak out when you’re burned out.' 100 percent. I try to remember this when I am angry as those who are silent about Gaza or who voted for the current regime. When we need healing, when we are stuck surviving, its hard for us to be in community in a way that leads to collective liberation. And I want liberation for those people too. Not excusing their choices, but not excusing myself from feeling compassion for them either.
Wow, this is such a rich reflection. Thanks for sharing your experience, which in the moment probably felt like “worst nightmare” until waking to the bigger picture.
I love what you wrote: “you don't ever show up alone. And you never show up perfectly - that's lies. Allowing the community to support us and see that we are vulnerable is genuine magic.”
This is real. And I’ve found people who need help but won’t ask for it are more inclined to accept it if I ask for help first. People love to show care yet it’s so hard to accept it. I appreciate the reciprocity you’re modeling.
Thank you, Kbooshie!!! Your analysis is crystal clear and oh so real. I love that you mention the collective. Being in community with people who feel too scared, hopeless, powerless to use their voices right now is quite frustrating. I'm frustrated with my own and others' silence but can't stand the virtue signaling either, which is just another way to hide. I help facilitate our Buddhist community's Collective Liberation conversations and see how challenging it is to wake up to habitual patterns. Being willing to look at what's behind our choreographed performances for the world is an act of courage.
Kate, thank you so much for this loving kind response! And daily meditation practice is helping me become my own ally. I do a body scan before meditation which lets me notice when I’m agitated. This practice reminds me to pay attention to my emotional state in social situations before I react. I don’t always catch myself, but I am learning to pause before I pacify or hide, which are my habitual reactions.
Speaking up, being vulnerable, listening, creating a culture of inclusion for all, are critical for today’s leaders of all types. It starts with us to make the space and have the conversation about mental health in today’s world. I love reading your thoughts and perspective Kate. Keep them coming!
Thank you for this post! It touches on many similar reasons as to why I started my Newsletter, so many friends and family were already burnt out before taking any action.
I'm currently attempting a four day news fast to retrieve my equilibrium when I came across your article. It was just what I needed since I was off-the-wagon, so thank you. 😉
This article inspired many things in me, but immediately inspired me to take a different approach with a couple of personnel evaluations coming up. Now I'm planning to do them together with the staff being "evaluated."
The practices are definitely going on the refrigerator.
This justice seeking part of us can be a powerful way to use the privilege of experience or positionality when combined with cultural humility. What has given you the courage or strength to do this?
Reading the news, it can be hard to know what to do to “save democracy” or “fix the mental health crisis.” I hope personalizing it, humanizing it can help people see their windows of opportunity.
Mental health really is the crux of everything isn’t it?
We need mental health/brain health 101 starting in Kindergarten.
Programs teaching young parents about infant mental healthy are some of the most successful social programs ever at preventing poor outcomes.
We’re living through an era where the unhealthiest have bullied their way to power by lying to the vulnerable.
Thank you for your essay today.
If others here aren’t familiar with the work of Brene Browne they might be interested in her work on this topic.
“Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language — it’s from the Latin word cor, meaning heart — and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
And the last was they had connection, and — this was the hard part — as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.”
Appreciate so much of this reflection, Christy. Especially agree that we need to start early and often with building awareness, agency and action around what supports mental health on an individual, communal and systemic level.
"Extinction Level Event Headed Straight for Earth"
Our Psychological and Political Pandemic DR. BANDY X. LEE
🔸️Mental pathology in a president is a public matter. The more severe the mental pathology the less one will recognize that one is even ill.
🔸️Every other job that deals with life or death has a mental fitness evaluation as a requirement, even before one takes the position.
🔸️Without mental fitness evaluations, the public needs to know the danger of certified madness in politics. When dangerous mental pathologies are allowed to spread like a pandemic, an Extinction Level Event is headed straight for Earth. The U.S. could be a shining example of how to stop dangerous mental pathologies before they worm their way into politics but it is now left with "emergency cleanup on aisle madness'.
Hi Lonnie, I’ve noticed you share this thread on other columns as well. It’s interesting, you’re approaching similar concerns and themes but from a place of fear and danger. I feel these sentiments deeply yet for me, I find that leaning into them and leading with them can perpetuate the fight, flight, freeze response in myself and readers, which can fuel division, withdrawal. Have you found this moves people to be more engaged civically? I’m genuinely curious.
My only purpose in this post is to promote the only solution that Dr Bamdy X Lee said is left to us, that is, "Without mental fitness evaluations, the public needs to know the danger of certified madness in politics." As the public demands more and more mental fitness in politics, so will Congress demand the same. Any suggestions you have, to let the public know the danger of certified madness in politics, are more tan welcome.
I don’t have enough information about such an evaluation, so I can’t weigh on the merits. But I can say that any slotting of “mental fitness” is a difficult, delicate process since there are many people living with mental illness who don’t cause the kind of harm this leader does. And even in environments where there’s a “mental fitness evaluation,” there are abusive leaders. Power corrupts and money protects. In an ideal world, we’d have a congress willing to pursue the 25th amendment.
But in addition to that, I generally take the view that systemic approaches can be more effective and democratically sound. In the vein of “prevention is better than cure,” we could think about…
Structural Safeguards: Robust checks and balances remain the primary defense against power concentration. This includes strengthening legislative oversight, judicial independence and federalism. Regular rotation of power through term limits and competitive elections helps prevent entrenchment. Transparency requirements for decision-making processes, financial dealings and conflicts of interest create accountability mechanisms.
Financial Accountability Systems: Campaign finance reform, including limits on contributions and enhanced disclosure requirements, can reduce the protective effects of wealth. Public financing options for campaigns help level the playing field. Asset disclosure and blind trust requirements for officials in sensitive positions address conflicts of interest. Independent ethics enforcement with real consequences is crucial.
Civic Infrastructure: A well-informed citizenry is the best long-term protection. This means investing in civic education, supporting independent journalism, and promoting media literacy. Encouraging civic engagement through accessible voting, public forums, and citizen oversight bodies creates ongoing accountability pressure.
Institutional Culture: Professional norms and ethics training for public servants, robust whistleblower protections and cultures that reward integrity over loyalty help maintain standards. Inspector generals and ombudsman offices provide internal accountability mechanisms.
Crisis Response Mechanisms: Clear procedures for addressing misconduct, including impeachment processes, recall elections where applicable, and criminal justice mechanisms that apply equally regardless of position. International cooperation on corruption and abuse of power cases can help when domestic systems are compromised.
These systemic approaches address the root conditions that enable corruption rather than trying to predict individual behavior, which I believe tends to be more sustainable and democratic.
I like how Retired Army General Xenakis describes the process of removing a mentally unfit person in the military, that is 'if you see something, say something.' As voters and politicians are educated ASAP on the danger of madness in politics, then more dangerous mentally unfit politicians will be prevented from committing destructive behavior.
"Stephen Xenakis-Fitness for Duty Exams: Preventing Autocratic Abuse"
“Turns out perfection is the enemy of psychological safety. So, instead of stifling the experience, I integrated it into my teaching. Leading change means living change. “
This is Gold 💚🔥
It’s hard but possible!
Kate, the way you created space for yourself during your presentation struck a chord with me. As a Black person, I seldom feel completely safe, and have coped by code switching, hiding, and striving to be perfect. Over time, I see the toll my coping strategies have taken on me, but practicing being present and vulnerable is no picnic either! Thank you for blazing this path.
Thank you for your candor and compassion, Jean. There's so much wisdom here. Just acknowledging that the coping strategies aren't working is a revolutionary act of compassion — toward yourself and others. I appreciate the reality you present that being in both states — shut down or awake — carries costs. There's no quick fix or magic pill, and I have to remind myself of that when I'm "doing the work" yet haven't "perfectly" arrived at "healed." What do you find helps you to stay an ally to yourself as you practice being present and vulnerable?
Such a powerful lesson you've shared. 20 years ago, I stumbled and nearly fell on the way on stage to speak. Then I realized I didn't have my notes. The raw force of the empathy from the crowd is a feeling I will never forget. It changed my entire perception of what it means to show up... because you don't ever show up alone. And you never show up perfectly - that's lies. Allowing the community to support us and see that we are vulnerable is genuine magic.
Also this, 'Authoritarian forces didn’t invent the erosion of psychological safety. They simply exploited what late stage capitalism and collective trauma had already hollowed. People are in survival mode right now — a state of perpetual fight, flight, freeze, appease — and it’s hard to speak out when you’re burned out.' 100 percent. I try to remember this when I am angry as those who are silent about Gaza or who voted for the current regime. When we need healing, when we are stuck surviving, its hard for us to be in community in a way that leads to collective liberation. And I want liberation for those people too. Not excusing their choices, but not excusing myself from feeling compassion for them either.
Wow, this is such a rich reflection. Thanks for sharing your experience, which in the moment probably felt like “worst nightmare” until waking to the bigger picture.
I love what you wrote: “you don't ever show up alone. And you never show up perfectly - that's lies. Allowing the community to support us and see that we are vulnerable is genuine magic.”
This is real. And I’ve found people who need help but won’t ask for it are more inclined to accept it if I ask for help first. People love to show care yet it’s so hard to accept it. I appreciate the reciprocity you’re modeling.
Thank you, Kbooshie!!! Your analysis is crystal clear and oh so real. I love that you mention the collective. Being in community with people who feel too scared, hopeless, powerless to use their voices right now is quite frustrating. I'm frustrated with my own and others' silence but can't stand the virtue signaling either, which is just another way to hide. I help facilitate our Buddhist community's Collective Liberation conversations and see how challenging it is to wake up to habitual patterns. Being willing to look at what's behind our choreographed performances for the world is an act of courage.
Kate, thank you so much for this loving kind response! And daily meditation practice is helping me become my own ally. I do a body scan before meditation which lets me notice when I’m agitated. This practice reminds me to pay attention to my emotional state in social situations before I react. I don’t always catch myself, but I am learning to pause before I pacify or hide, which are my habitual reactions.
Wonderful teaching here, thank you.
Speaking up, being vulnerable, listening, creating a culture of inclusion for all, are critical for today’s leaders of all types. It starts with us to make the space and have the conversation about mental health in today’s world. I love reading your thoughts and perspective Kate. Keep them coming!
I loved "stretching and flexing" with you in California! A source of strength and joy to be together.
Thank you for this post! It touches on many similar reasons as to why I started my Newsletter, so many friends and family were already burnt out before taking any action.
Congratulations on starting your newsletter, Christopher. It’s difficult, liberating work to make meaning of your experiences through writing.
I'm currently attempting a four day news fast to retrieve my equilibrium when I came across your article. It was just what I needed since I was off-the-wagon, so thank you. 😉
This article inspired many things in me, but immediately inspired me to take a different approach with a couple of personnel evaluations coming up. Now I'm planning to do them together with the staff being "evaluated."
The practices are definitely going on the refrigerator.
Thanks again...
I’m thrilled to hear it’s helpful enough to go on the fridge! Interesting idea to apply them to evaluations. How would you do it?
(Correction above: "I was attempting"). For some reason, sub won't allow editing of the comment.
#8 is my favorite speak up for others when they can’t!
This justice seeking part of us can be a powerful way to use the privilege of experience or positionality when combined with cultural humility. What has given you the courage or strength to do this?
As always, thanks for the “what?” and the “so what?”.
Reading the news, it can be hard to know what to do to “save democracy” or “fix the mental health crisis.” I hope personalizing it, humanizing it can help people see their windows of opportunity.
Mental health really is the crux of everything isn’t it?
We need mental health/brain health 101 starting in Kindergarten.
Programs teaching young parents about infant mental healthy are some of the most successful social programs ever at preventing poor outcomes.
We’re living through an era where the unhealthiest have bullied their way to power by lying to the vulnerable.
Thank you for your essay today.
If others here aren’t familiar with the work of Brene Browne they might be interested in her work on this topic.
“Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language — it’s from the Latin word cor, meaning heart — and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.
And the last was they had connection, and — this was the hard part — as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.”
https://fs.blog/great-talks/power-vulnerability-brene-brown/#:~:text=Brene%20Brown%20discusses%20the%20importance%20of%20vulnerability%2C,themes%20of%20personal%20development%20and%20human%20psychology.&text=And%20I%20know%20that%20vulnerability%20is%20the,joy%2C%20of%20creativity%2C%20of%20belonging%2C%20of%20love.
THE HARD PART
Appreciate so much of this reflection, Christy. Especially agree that we need to start early and often with building awareness, agency and action around what supports mental health on an individual, communal and systemic level.
Thank you for witnessing, writing and posting!!!
"Extinction Level Event Headed Straight for Earth"
Our Psychological and Political Pandemic DR. BANDY X. LEE
🔸️Mental pathology in a president is a public matter. The more severe the mental pathology the less one will recognize that one is even ill.
🔸️Every other job that deals with life or death has a mental fitness evaluation as a requirement, even before one takes the position.
🔸️Without mental fitness evaluations, the public needs to know the danger of certified madness in politics. When dangerous mental pathologies are allowed to spread like a pandemic, an Extinction Level Event is headed straight for Earth. The U.S. could be a shining example of how to stop dangerous mental pathologies before they worm their way into politics but it is now left with "emergency cleanup on aisle madness'.
https://open.substack.com/pub/bandyxlee/p/our-psychological-and-political-pandemic?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=280c3q
Hi Lonnie, I’ve noticed you share this thread on other columns as well. It’s interesting, you’re approaching similar concerns and themes but from a place of fear and danger. I feel these sentiments deeply yet for me, I find that leaning into them and leading with them can perpetuate the fight, flight, freeze response in myself and readers, which can fuel division, withdrawal. Have you found this moves people to be more engaged civically? I’m genuinely curious.
My only purpose in this post is to promote the only solution that Dr Bamdy X Lee said is left to us, that is, "Without mental fitness evaluations, the public needs to know the danger of certified madness in politics." As the public demands more and more mental fitness in politics, so will Congress demand the same. Any suggestions you have, to let the public know the danger of certified madness in politics, are more tan welcome.
I don’t have enough information about such an evaluation, so I can’t weigh on the merits. But I can say that any slotting of “mental fitness” is a difficult, delicate process since there are many people living with mental illness who don’t cause the kind of harm this leader does. And even in environments where there’s a “mental fitness evaluation,” there are abusive leaders. Power corrupts and money protects. In an ideal world, we’d have a congress willing to pursue the 25th amendment.
But in addition to that, I generally take the view that systemic approaches can be more effective and democratically sound. In the vein of “prevention is better than cure,” we could think about…
Structural Safeguards: Robust checks and balances remain the primary defense against power concentration. This includes strengthening legislative oversight, judicial independence and federalism. Regular rotation of power through term limits and competitive elections helps prevent entrenchment. Transparency requirements for decision-making processes, financial dealings and conflicts of interest create accountability mechanisms.
Financial Accountability Systems: Campaign finance reform, including limits on contributions and enhanced disclosure requirements, can reduce the protective effects of wealth. Public financing options for campaigns help level the playing field. Asset disclosure and blind trust requirements for officials in sensitive positions address conflicts of interest. Independent ethics enforcement with real consequences is crucial.
Civic Infrastructure: A well-informed citizenry is the best long-term protection. This means investing in civic education, supporting independent journalism, and promoting media literacy. Encouraging civic engagement through accessible voting, public forums, and citizen oversight bodies creates ongoing accountability pressure.
Institutional Culture: Professional norms and ethics training for public servants, robust whistleblower protections and cultures that reward integrity over loyalty help maintain standards. Inspector generals and ombudsman offices provide internal accountability mechanisms.
Crisis Response Mechanisms: Clear procedures for addressing misconduct, including impeachment processes, recall elections where applicable, and criminal justice mechanisms that apply equally regardless of position. International cooperation on corruption and abuse of power cases can help when domestic systems are compromised.
These systemic approaches address the root conditions that enable corruption rather than trying to predict individual behavior, which I believe tends to be more sustainable and democratic.
I like how Retired Army General Xenakis describes the process of removing a mentally unfit person in the military, that is 'if you see something, say something.' As voters and politicians are educated ASAP on the danger of madness in politics, then more dangerous mentally unfit politicians will be prevented from committing destructive behavior.
"Stephen Xenakis-Fitness for Duty Exams: Preventing Autocratic Abuse"
https://youtu.be/vdtChF07ryU?si=XJzMjvTsSfKn5UTn
Appreciate you being open to the challenge. Thanks for being here.